Is Your Sexless Marriage Fixable?

by ricksex on October 31, 2011

Dealing with a sexless marriage can be one of the hardest things in the world. It’s not just the rejection and lack of intimacy, but also not knowing whether there is any hope for the future.

Most people, I believe, can accept a crisis in their marriage and are willing to put a lot of work into it. However, not knowing whether this situation if fixable can be downright demoralizing.

So, can your sexless marriage be saved? Can you turn things around and get the passion back into your life?

sad couple

There is, unfortunately, no clear answer. Each couple is a complete world, a story like no other. Therefore, it is impossible to say with certainty how long it will take to get the passion back into your marriage or if it’s beyond salvation.

That being said, there are a number of questions that you can ask yourself that may give you some clue as to what you may be facing.

1. Is the love alive?

Do you still love your partner and does your partner still love you? Without this, there is no hope for improvement. Fixing a sexless marriage requires work like Columbus did find the land. You will need to be able to face rejection, humiliation, and pain to heal your relationship. Without love there is no point to it all.

2. Is your partner willing to see a doctor?

This is where the search for a solution begins. You see, some medication or health conditions, such as hormonal issues and diabetes, may cause a reduction in a person’s sex drive. The conditions change from a woman to a man, but this is the first place I’d look. If there is a physical condition which is causing the problem, it may be very easy to fix. Your partner may need treatment or to switch medication. However, it is much easier than having to go through a painful process in your relationship.

3. Is There Trust?

The cause of your sexless marriage may be due to an affair or some other breach of trust. If you and your partner don’t trust each other, it will be difficult to rebuild the intimacy between you. Intimacy and passion are about more than attraction. They are also dependent on trust. You should talk about this and do whatever needs to be done to create a stronger bond between you two.

4. Are You Ready For A Long Push?

I can’t say for sure how long it will take to fix things between you two. It may take months. It may never happen. You need to be ready to make a long term effort. If you’re not then there is little chance that you’ll make it.

Finally, do you have faith?

This is the main thing: do you believe in your marriage? Do you believe in your ability to resurrect the love between you? If so, then you have a good chance to make things better. If not, then you are doomed before you start.

I believe that there are ways to make things right in many cases. I can’t be sure for everyone, but if you have faith, then there is room for hope.

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Are Sexless Marriages Becoming More Common?

by ricksex on October 27, 2011

When you look through the media for articles or references to the topic of sexless marriages it’s quite clear that more and more attention is being given to this issue.

There are more websites that deal with this problem and even forums where people share their pain and their stories of rejection and frustration. Does this signify that more people are living in a sexless marriage. Are sexless marriages becoming more common? Is this spreading?

It’s very difficult to judge with any certainty whether the problem is growing or whether it is simply the fact that this topic is opening up for public scrutiny and to media coverage. I’ve read articles about it on various online magazines and newspapers in recent months and it seems like people are slowly accepting the fact that this is a wider problem and not just something that’s happening to them and that talking about it may actually help.

sexless couple in bedSo far, though, most of the articles I read say little about why this is happening in the first place and why it may be getting more and more common. I would like to suggest a few options:

1. The economy – Money or the lack thereof, doesn’t necessarily influence the libido. What it can do is affect a person’s stress levels. When money is tight, the economy is in bad shape, and people are worried about their job, their payments, their home… stress becomes a major factor.

Stress can affect your libido. It can make you irritable, disrupt your sleep, and cause a variety of other health disorders. Stress kills mood and in today’s economic conditions, it is quite obvious that there is more stress all around us.

2. Long work hours – A few decades ago couples would meet not late in the evening but during the afternoon. Workdays were shorter (and more sane). People had more spare time. A man and a woman could cultivate their relationship like all couples should. Today, people are lucky if they see each other for 2 hours before they head to bed, dead tired. Is it any wonder that people are drifting apart and that the divorce rate is skyrocketing?

3. The prevalence of pornography – The internet has brought many good things to our life, but it has also made pornography more accessible. You can find a wide variety of websites which offer this filth at no charge. The bad news is that men who watch too much pornography may begin to develop an inability to get aroused by their wife. They require a more visual and crude form of stimulation, something that most women are loath to provide and may not even know how.

These are not the only causes of sexless marriages. However, these 3 points may explain why it is becoming more common. The only good thing about that is that the more people who experience a sexless relationship, the more attention it will get, the less shame people will feel, and the more openly can we all work together to figure out a solution for this problem.

 

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Sexless Marriage – The Unspoken Problem

October 2, 2011

Sexless marriages are one of those topics that people don’t like to talk about. This creates the illusion that this is a problem which is much less common than it really is. This is a shame because it reduces the amount of attention that people give this problem and it remains an issue which is [...]

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